“How can I deal with a friend who always tries to talk to me but in reality is really rude?” Today’s question was asked by an anonymous sender who would like to be referred to as “Arizza.”
If you’re feeling overwhelmed about this situation, read the boldened words first to get a basic idea and not overthink it.
- Explain to your friend, politely, that they’ve offended you. If your friend is saying something rude about you, reply with something direct. Hey, it hurts my feelings when you say that. A real friend would apologize and not repeat what they’d said. If your friend gets annoyed, claims you’re too sensitive, or tries to justify what they’ve said, they’re not a real friend (I’ll go more in-depth on that in Step 2). If they’re saying rude things about other people, try saying something like, That’s not really a nice thing to say or I don’t feel comfortable talking behind (so-and-so)’s back.
- Consider if your friend is a friend at all. If you feel the person talking to you has harmful intent, and you leave conversations with them feeling worse than before, it’s okay to ask for space. You can always say, Hey, I don’t really feel like talking right now if you want to remain polite. If you feel like the person won’t leave you alone and continues to say rude things, you can also be more firm. If you continue to say rude things like that, we’re not going to be friends anymore. If you feel your friend is actually bullying you, you should tell a trusted adult.
So in summary, politely explain to your friend why what they’re saying isn’t cool with you. Separate yourself if necessary. You’re allowed to set boundaries. You’re also allowed to forgive someone for making a mistake. The choice is yours.
Good luck, Arizza,
-Margot
About The Author
